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Safe Haven Marriage Challenge- Week 2

We are excited to have you join the many couples giving their all to improve their marriage. You are part of an amazing community of couples working hard to go from a difficult and disconnected marriage to a more loving and happier marriage.

Marriage Challenge #1: Have a vision for your marriage!

What kind of marriage do you want to work toward?

Wake up each day saying, “today I want to love well in my marriage!”

Marriage Challenge #2: Be the best version of YOURSELF

What is the best version of you? Be it!

What do you want to get out of your life?

Who do you want to be along the way?

How do you want to be remembered as a person?

The answers to these questions often get lost in the demands of life’s daily routine and chores. Too often we react to what is right in front of us:

your spouse didn’t clean up as they had promised, your child ignored requests to get ready for bed and your dog ate your lunch!

Too often we are reacting to the difficulties of the moment and don’t slow down to intentionally choose who we want to be, the character we want to foster in ourselves and the attitude to have as we face life’s difficulties.

Here are some questions to help you be the best version of yourself!

1. Describe who you are when you are at your best?

You know when you are at your best! You can be patient, speak with a kind tone of voice, listen well, be wise and on it, funny, helpful, honest…

2. Describe who you are when you are not your best?

We can sometimes be stressed and so easily irritated, frustrated, harsh tone of voice and quick to react negatively.

Or we can be overwhelmed and so scattered, flustered, procrastinate, avoid, minimize, be distracted or numb out.

Or we want things to go our way and so get argumentative, angry, critical, negative, entitled, resentful, feel left out and sorry for ourselves.

3. What values, beliefs and character qualities do you value and want to foster in yourself?

For example: all people deserve to be treat with manners, honesty is always best, when I don’t know what to do… be kind, as it is up to me try get along with everyone, avoiding conflict is not always the best solution, find joy in the midst of all difficulties, be quick to think and slow to react

4. What are the strengths and weaknesses of your personality? In light of your personality, in what areas could you mature and grow your character?

5. What attitude do you want to wake up with? What mood do you want to have through out your day? How could a more grateful attitude improve your day?

6. What lifestyle changes do you need to make so to be the best version of you? What support system do you need around you to life your spirits up and encourage you to be a better person?

Enjoy your week! Make loving well at home, in your family and with others of value! Sometimes it is hard to have manners and a positive attitude with your spouse, especially if you have a list of unresolved arguments and resentment has accumulated… I understand… but choose to love well because that’s the person you want to be!

If you need to do some deep healing in your marriage, consider attending a Safe Haven Marriage Intensive! It is not too late to have a good marriage.

Stay tuned, next week you will be surprised at our challenge!

Keep in touch,


Dr Sharon May

Alan Hart

Linda Stewart

And the Safe Haven Team

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