Are You Still Struggling in Your Relationships?

June 30, 2018

I am at my husband, Mike’s, family reunion in Michigan. It is great to gather with several generations, listening to stories and reviewing old photos of family members long gone. I wonder what words of wisdom the relatives now in heaven would say if they were gathered watching over the family reunion.  



What would they say really mattered in life?

What marriage advice would they give? 


Maybe they’d tell us to not worry about the small stuff, to remember Philippians 4:6, “Don‘t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything”or to try the best we can to get along with each other.  And I am sure they would tell us that life is short and when we face difficulties with others, to not live with unresolved conflict, Ephesians 4:26, “Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry” as when we keep reviewing the hurts, they accumulate, harden our hearts and keep us emotionally disconnected, Galatians 5:15, “If you bite and devour each other, watch out or you will be destroyed by each other.”


I am sure all our relatives who have gone before us, would remind us of the greatness of the simple:


1.  Be nice. When you talk and relate to others, use manners, smile, talk with a kind tone of voice. You don’t have to be rude to be heard.


2.  Be hopeful. Hope is that in the face of difficulties you find the courage to rise up, face it, discover options, stay positive, and believe God’s will to be done.  


3.  Be wise. Learn to slow down, take a step back and think before speaking. Yes, think. Knowing how to review a situation, weigh options, and choose how to react is one of the greatest qualities to have in a relationship, and the most difficult to do. 


If you feel one of your long gone relative (or even a current dear friend) is saying to you “are you still struggling with your marriage, or “have you not yet dealt with that issue in your life?”

Then it is time for change. Maybe it is time for a Safe Haven Intensive.

Is it time to work on your marriage, or your own personal growth?


Safe Haven Marriage Intensive

If you are stuck in a difficult marriage … we would like to offer hope, and an invitation to attend a 2 to 4 day Safe Haven Marriage Intensive here at the Safe Haven Relationship Center.

Come to sunny Carlsbad (just north of San Diego) for a marriage impacting experience. If finances are tight, we have a few scholarships available. Email us.


Becoming Real Personal Growth Intensive

We also offer intensives for individuals. This is for you to review your life, get unstuck, manage a transition, loss or plan out what is next. You come on your own for a one-on-one life impacting experience. Do in 2 ½ days what would take you 6 months to a year to cover in weekly counseling or coaching sessions.  


Safe Haven Marriage Coaching – 6 session special offer

Have you already attended a Safe Haven Marriage Intensive?

Then you will benefit greatly from the 6-week marriage coaching session with Dr. Sylvia Hart Frejd. During weekly phone sessions, you review your argument cycle, dragons and reactions, and re-discover your safe haven cycle – a way of relating that allows you to each be heard and understood.

You’ll also have a chance to write your vision and mission statement as a couple and family.

Well worth it!


Let us know how we can help you grow as a person so you can live your life and love those around you … the best way you can.   



Sharon May, Ph.D.


Originator of the Safe Haven Model

Founder, Safe Haven Relationship Center

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